- Staying stuck in the past or future.
One common facet of spirituality is focusing on mindfulness, or being fully aware of the present moment. However, we cannot do that if we remain entrenched in the past or future. If we focus too much on times already gone or times not even here yet, we will wreak havoc on our inner peace. To gain inner peace, we must fully let go and embrace the present.
So, on your spiritual journey, we hope you will remember to lose yourself in the moment you have right now, and forget about moments gone or moments that haven’t yet arrived. Much of spirituality lies in going with the flow and not trying to control your surroundings, anyway.
- Being too hard on yourself.
Along this path, you might find yourself being hyperaware of your own thoughts and actions, so much so that you start to judge yourself too harshly. While being conscious of the self is a big part of spirituality, you have to learn to simply watch yourself as a mindful observer, and not judge what you might hear or see. We live in a very judgmental world, but you have to learn to let go of these man-made judgements and pre-conceived ideas of who and what you should be.
- Tell them what to do.
Like anything in life, people move at their own pace. Getting over a relationship is no exception. If someone tells you they’re not ready to date, believe them. If they want to get out there, support them. Unless that person is doing something that could be harmful to them or someone else, the best course of action is to listen, not give out marching orders. If you took up photography after your last heartbreak and it helped you move forward, great. But that doesn’t mean it will be the answer for someone else.
Make sure when you share your experience or give out advice that it comes in the form of a gentle suggestion instead. It may not seem so, but a person who’s in a fragile state is more likely to hear you when you’re not forceful with them. In general, people don’t want to be told what to do, not even by you.
- Exclude them.
Your friend, relative, or co-worker may be going through a rough patch, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be up for some fun or, at a minimum, a distraction. Don’t feel that because they’re upset or sad that they need or want to be alone. Sometimes the opportunity to get out of their environment and be with others is just what the doctor ordered. Give them the chance to join if they want to without being too pushy. A gentle nudge is OK.
- Bad-mouth their ex.
The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference. If you’re listening to someone bad-mouth their ex, it’s very possible their words don’t match how they’re feeling inside. They may be confused or still hurting as a result of their split. Not to mention, if there is a reconciliation, you don’t want to be the one who spoke negatively about the person they love.
The bottom line is this: Love is patient, so show some to your heartbroken friend today even if the one they love didn’t.